I spent some time evaluating life this weekend. Everyone should take stock every so often but I think it is vitally important when life seems to be in constant flux, constantly adapting. That is the way I feel the last three years have been. The reality is that everyone has to make adaptations throughout life … Continue reading Evaluating Life…again.
A year ago today, January 7, I was in a hospital room with Carrie as her body was steadily failing. The prognosis had gone from a fair chance of surgery which would heal her to maintenance of the spreading cancer to a few more months of life then, finally, to imminent death within a day or … Continue reading A Year Ago: Remembered
Happy New Year! It’s 2013. Out with the old and in with the new… Wait! seriously? I’m pretty comfortable with some of the old, maybe even a lot of it. Besides, new makes me itch! Itch or not, there is no way around all the new in my life. It seems that it’s part and parcel … Continue reading Widowered Fathering: Figuring Out Our New Traditions
Today screamed for banana nut bread and a little father-son bonding time. The bananas were far too gone to eat and I can’t remember the last time I baked. It is strange to go through the cook books and written recipes and see Carrie’s handwriting. It is a pleasant reminder that she was once here. … Continue reading Bake Like A Man
Today is the day; I’m setting up the Christmas decorations with the boy. It’s been our family tradition that mom and the boys would decorate. Mostly because she was better at it and my less than enthusiastic desire to participate was secondary or maybe even way, way, way down the list…. Really. I love the … Continue reading Trimming the Tree
One of the things I miss about not having Carrie around is always having a ready date. I am aware that this doesn't sound too romantic but stay with me a moment. For nearly 30 years (I’m including dating and rounding a little) if I wanted to do something with someone she was my first … Continue reading A Ready Date and Social Substitutes
It is late Sunday evening as I begin this post. I am relaxing on my reclining leather coach. It is quiet. No television. No music. The only noise is the clicking from my wireless keyboard and the hum of the refrigerator from the kitchen. I’m staring at the walls that I painted a few weeks … Continue reading The Ambiguity of Life
As a reader of this blog you may or may not know that my wife died of pancreatic cancer earlier this year. So it has been a year of firsts, including, at least mentally, recognizing the monthly anniversary of her passing. I almost missed yesterday; it was the 10 month anniversary. Interestingly, it didn't dawn … Continue reading Boom!
Fingers… reddened joints. swollen. painful. I’m caregiving again. To an elderly person with Rheumatoid Arthritis you might ask. I would answer, nope, just to my pre-teen son suffering an allergic reaction to some medication. Caregiving or at least worry includes a couple of sleepless nights checking often to make sure he’s still breathing. This activity … Continue reading Fingers and Single Parenting
"My stomach hurts." "I don't want to practice my saxophone anymore." "Can I have a friend come over? I’ll clean my room later." "What's for lunch?" These are pretty straight forward statements and questions. But not always an easy response. I've noticed that I have to pause a moment to think--and wish Carrie were here--about … Continue reading To Mom or Not to Mom?